Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 11th
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... So we must ensure that only women above a certain non-eyesore threshold become MPs. Further, male MPs will be required to whistle, cat call etc as per their whims and fancies. 4. Good looking chicks ...
... Do you remember reading the articles that told you how Indian team had created a plan to become world’s top test playing nation? They all said this plan was created under the aegis of Anil Kumble when ...
... in nude, MF Hussain, India's legendary third-rate painter, has decided to renounce Qatari citizenship and become a Hindu. "I've declined the citizenship offer by Qatar government and am flying back ...
... new members dressed in their finest. Representative of people or not, give a woman a platform and she will turn her wardrobe upside down and compete with those of her ilk and come sashaying in her ...
... shut. With media using the footage of my experiments for ridiculing me, the Indian blogosphere erupted with Nityananda jokes. Unlike America, where only professional comedians were allowed to crack ...
6. God Convicted of Mass Killing
(Science/Science)
... to millions of followers of god, many of whom are still in denial, there are many more millions who have welcomed the findings of the institute. "I always knew that something was terribly wrong with the ...
... their fields of partners and that when it comes to sex, there is no age-size bar and their ‘wides’ would be gleefully accepted while matrimonial advertisements would no longer carry the word innocent-virgin. ...
8. Nithya-ananda: Forever Blissed
(National/National)
... that rich, bored women have enough of curiosity to first become my devotees and then I wait like the spider in its parlor for them to make the first move. They are curious about my widely proclaimed vows ...
... between the ISI and Western Powers to remove India from the elite league of hockey playing nations?” “Yes, look what the Aussies did to us last night. First, they made sure that we become afraid by maiming ...
10. Manmohan bitch-slapped
(National/National)
...  Kaur peeps out from the cavernous kitchen situated deep in the bowels of the official ‘hovel’ and says, “ I am making you chapattis, ji” Removing the paraphernalia that has become the sartorial requirement ...
... discussed and that will be another story which will come up later this week)  “So what do you think of the budget, ayya?” “ What’s that? Oh! It’s February, when all the hoarders make loads of money. ...
12. Go-Ogle AdNonSense
(Business/Business)
... considered to be the Goddess of wealth in India and thanks to his company’s new-policy, Lakshmi has doubled her showers of cents on my previously fucked-up bank account. How come? The fucking ‘Puritans’ ...
13. Still Disappointed after a Double Hundred
(People/Life/People/Life)
...  a tad disillusioned, coolguy84 isn't disheartened, “I will keep on tweeting, come what may. I plan to tweet about every congratulatory message that I'll bombarded with during my wedding ceremony. That ...
... "Today's hyperbole or exaggeration might become tomorrow's truth" said Soni. "Who knows whether Lord Rama was really a godly incarnation or just an ordinary king who got elevated to the position of a living ...
15. Tweet the Truth on Twitter
(Science/Science)
... to use the new twitter truth service. "We are God’s own people and we speak only the truth. Whatever we speak comes directly from the mouth of God. We don’t need to provide any proof to anyone that  ...
...  in heaven. As soon as he died succumbing to his burns at Apollo Hospital, his astral body traveled through a white tunnel for a few minutes finally ending near a signboard, which read "Welcome to  ...
... angles for bowled and lbw decisions to come into the play. If the batsmen can use their feet, why you do not credit a bowler for not allowing a batsman to use his feet?” he said as he tried to show ...
18. It’s not Cricket
(Sports/Sports)
... is scared of traveling alone by the Metro. He, He!” “And she is not afraid of the crowds here?” “No, she says it’s a gentleman’s game and people who come here are gentle men and ladies and I wonder, ...
... is not big enough to accommodate them. It is rumoured that they are awaiting the day India’s burgeoning arse becomes attractive enough for them to penetrate, and over time the policy will be extended ...
It is official. After the birthday celebrations on 30/12/2010 of  *Kadavul aka Ala-giri, the word is out in the southern districts of Tamilnadu that Kadavul has become the presiding deity of the Temple ...
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