Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Thursday
Mar 11th
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1. Manmohan bitch-slapped
(National/National)
... like your nephew in Patiala who opened a Xerox shop next to a women’s college? That poor fellow cannot raise his price from Re. 1 per copy and yet, electricity is erratic, paper costs have gone up and ...
... hoard to be distributed within their district. No more scarcity of Tur dal, ma “! “Interesting, ayya” “Prices and taxes go up every year, ma and you know what the villagers call our committee of Village ...
... City as Madurai is known to the tourists that come pouring in day in and day out. Little known to the junta of India until the last Parliamentary Elections, Ala-giri shot to fame when he delivered ...
... the place had a seating capacity of below 100. To put things in perspective, there was a greater probability of them dying by choking on their own spit than in the blast. This disconnect with reality ...
5. Nehru and Valentine’s Day at Andipatti
(People/Life/People/Life)
... and traveled westwards from the Temple City aka Kadavul-Maanagaram she took a chai-break at Andipatti situated on the National Highway to Cochin. We present excerpts from her ill-advised caper. “Vanakkam, ...
6. Pawar to make India healthy
(National/National)
... he can control the diet of all Indians." According to Sanghvi, Pawar was already working in his capacity as agriculture minister to ensure that Indians eat only healthy food. "Under the dynamic ...
... placing the order in his capacity as the ex-officio chairman of the Planning Commission and that of an economist. “Yeah, I would like to order one…no no, three… wait….hey listen up, I’m on the phone ...
... A 29-year old man should be able to differentiate between reality and a reality show on television. But the Bakhthiyaar we see on the show gives no indication that he has the capacity to distinguish between ...
Conspiracy theories couldn’t get any more bizarre. NASA, the world’s foremost space agency, which was till now a subject of many a crazy conspiracy theories regarding the authenticity of its Apollo 11 ...
... the handlng capacity of Mumbai and hoped that the increased funds never get used. How nice of her to care so much about the city! Then as I started reading Priyanka Chopra's endorsement of the budget due ...
... It enlisted the help of US troops who were forced to bomb Baghdad, destroy the city of Fallujah and attack densely populated suburbs like Sadr city to liberate the country from Saddam Hussein, Iraq's former ...
Eleusis, Sparta (Greece) 30 June 1037 AD: Eleusis, a sleepy village on the outskirts of the city state of Sparta is getting geared up for its annual fair. Buzzing with excitement, the villagers of Eleusis ...
13. B-Grade Bollywood Director Feels Vindicated
(Entertainment/Entertainment)
... for his ability to hold out against 400 cops for two days, do they have the guts to treat the terrorists who managed to hold the entire city of Mumbai to ransom for four days as heroes too?" asked the ...
14. War of the Words
(World/World)
... words having an India-connection (Slumdog & Jai Ho) was enough enticement for our media to treat a publicity gimmick by a private company as yet another shining example of India's cultural impact on ...
... I steal a lamp? I don't even have electricity in the shanty where I live with my husband and two children. I accidentally broke the lamp while cleaning the storeroom. Afraid that the cost of lamp will ...
16. Raj Thackeray invited to Melbourne
(National/National)
Our very own Raj Thackeray has been invited by the SCR (Spice & Curry Removal, Melbourne) to be their mentor in cleaning the city of Melbourne and then the country of Australia of sweet-n-spicy smelling ...
17. Children of a Lesser Slumlord
(People/Life/People/Life)
... fate. When bulldozers will render these kids homeless, media will either not report the demolition of their homes or report it as just another much-needed encroachment removal drive to clean up the city ...
... obey. Dismayed at the audacity of the foreign troops and shocked that he could be kicked out like a worthless serf in his own hamlet, Togo ran through the lanes of the village screaming 'Freedom! Freedom!' ...
... award winning song picturized on Cocky) filled the air. As soon as the duo emerged in the arrival area, a mad scramble broke out at the airport, sending both city cops as well as the airport police into ...
...  everyone feels overjoyed and their players and administrators think that the future of Bangladeshi cricket lies in staying with us.” While the members sat stunned with the beautiful simplicity of ...
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