National

Lord Rama disowns Sri Ram Sena

Thursday, 29 January 2009 00:29

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

Lord Rama, the upright and highly-virtuous king of Ayodhya of ancient times, has disowned the latest army raised in his name - Sri Ram Sena - by saying that he is unable to identify with the moral causes advanced by the Mangalorean outfit.

"Those who raise armies in my name should at the very least read and thoroughly memorize my epic biography written by Valmiki to have a better understanding of me and my morals before going on rampage beating and chasing women drinkers at pubs." said Sri Rama, one of the nine manifested avataars of Lord Vishnu.

"I'm afraid I can't identify with the ludicrous morality being promoted by these dimwits and refuse to associate or lend my holy name to any organization promoting such twisted beliefs and...

Indian Government Grants Heritage Status to Mumbai Slums

Friday, 23 January 2009 16:58

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

In wake of success of Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire at Golden Globe, BAFTA & Oscars, Indian Government has decided to declare slums of Mumbai as 'National Heritage' and instructed Maharashtra Government to protect the slums of Mumbai from being demolished or from being encroached upon by builders. As a result of this decision, Maharashtra Government will be forced to put its slum...

Behenji conquers DravidaNadu

Thursday, 25 December 2008 00:09

Written by maverick58

In an amazing turnaround most of Madras was painted blue these last few days as thousands of BSP posters and banners welcomed the UP chief minister Mayawati Behenji for the massive rally in the city on 22/12/2008. Behenji, for some diehard Tamil 'nationalists' not woken up to the changed Dravidian minds, means madame sister. 'Amma' Jayalalitha must surely not be amused at the numbers that...

Magistrate appoints Banyan Tree as legal aid for Kasab

Tuesday, 16 December 2008 17:53

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

The magistrate at the district magistrate's court at the Esplanade court house in South Mumbai announced today that a Banyan tree outside the premises of the court house would be used as legal aid for arrested terrorist Mohammed Ajmal Amir Iman Kasab since all the lawyers of the city have refused to take up his case on ethical grounds. On December 5th, a resolution was passed unanimously by the...

10-year old Babloo too hates politicians

Wednesday, 10 December 2008 17:40

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

'I hate politicians! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them'

Babloo Arora is just a 10-year old school-going kid living in Bandra, Mumbai, but he has already learned how to hate politicians like all the adults in his family. Son of affluent businessman, Ranjit Arora who exports jewelry to east European countries, he believes politicians are responsible for all his troubles and hopes that by the...