Rahul Gandhi to join cabinet as Minister for PM-in-waiting

Wednesday, 20 May 2009 18:59

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

The ministry for PM-in-waiting is expected to launch nationwide propaganda drive to convince the people of the country that Rahul Gandhi is the most perfect candidate and a natural choice to takeover the job of Prime Minister of India, once present Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh steps down from the office due to deteriorating health or death.

The ministry will implement a 5-point plan to promote the idea of Rahul Gandhi as the best candidate for the post of India's Prime Minister. With the help of a pliant print and electronic media, he will be projected as India's equivalent of US president Barack Obama who will single-handedly change the country and fulfil the aspirations of millions of youngsters.

- News anchors, expert political commentators, talking heads in television studios and all congress politicians will always talk about him using buzzwords and phrases such as 'youthful', 'dynamic', 'charismatic', 'fresh face' etc. They will constantly credit him for revitalizing the congress party and keep hailing him as the architect of the party's remarkable victory at the polls.

- All ministers of the cabinet, including the Prime Minister, will credit Rahul Gandhi for providing them with fresh, new ideas at periodic intervals. During interviews with media, ministers and congress functionaries will casually talk about chance encounters and conversations with him and how these conversations inspired them to embark on fresh new projects for the betterment of the nation. At opportune moments, he will be favorably compared with his late father Rajiv Gandhi with appropriate use of cliches such as 'like his dad, he appears to be a young man in hurry' etc

- At every conceivable opportunity, congress functionaries will demand that 'Rahul-ji' should takeover as India's Prime Minister, taking care to clarify that their preference for Rahul-ji is just their 'personal opinion'. They will lose no opportunity in praising the leadership qualities of Rahul Gandhi and projecting him as the fresh, young leader that Indian voters are desperately waiting for.

- Every action or step taken by Rahul Gandhi will be heralded as a sign of his coming-of-age as a politician and as evidence of his increasing maturity as a leader by talking heads on television. He will receive more media coverage than any other politician and his every utterance, however insignificant it might be, will be treated as 'breaking news' of highest national importance.

- At regular intervals, newspapers and news channels will conduct doctored opinion polls that will show him as recipient of highest percentage of votes and reinforce the view that majority of Indians would like to see him as India's Prime Minister.

According to political analysts, If this 5-point plan is successful, within next two or three years, the country will become so enamoured of the prospect of being ruled by Rahul Gandhi that the people of India will literally start begging him to assume the leadership of the country.

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