Karan Johar, in news for his controversial apologizing to Raj Thackeray, is not done with apologizing. In an exclusive piece for onionuttapam.com, he apologizes to one and all for everything he has done in his life. It is highly likely that during the next filmare awards, he will deliver this apology speech instead of the usual 'Thank You' speech.
Dear Friends,
Ever since I apologized to Raj Thackeray for blasphemous usage of 'Bombay' in place of 'Mumbai', I've received much flak for bowing down to his diktats, for my cowardly yielding to his unreasonable demands and for tendering an apology. Reading hundreds of mails, SMS and tweet messages, I realize that what I did was wrong. It was stupid of me to apologize to Raj Thackeray, and for that, I apologize. I apologize to all my fans and well-wishers for apologizing to the MNS chief. Please forgive me for my act if your sentiments were hurt because of my apology.
I realize that my apology to those who didn't like my apology for using 'Bombay' in my film wouldn't go down well with Raj Thackeray and his supporters. So I would once again like to apologize in advance to Raj and his party-men for apologizing to everyone who expressed disapproval of my apology to him.
Now, I can foresee that my second apology to Thackeray would further infuriate those who felt that I shouldn't have apologized to him in the first place. All I can say to them is a big 'Sorry'. I apologize for apologizing to him yet again!
Okay, now that I'm on an apologizing spree, I would like to use this opportunity to apologize to all those who crave good-quality cinema for inflicting mediocre, cheesy, candy-floss movies like 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' and 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham' on the nation. To all those who enjoyed my corny sugar-candy capers, I proffer my apologies in advance for being apologetic about my movies.
I'm sorry for all the things I've done with my life. Like producing boring, shallow, gossipy chat shows where I interview my beautiful friends while sipping coffee. I offer my sincerest apologies to everyone who found it difficult to tolerate my inane blabbering, silly-looking coffee hampers, nauseating promotion of my friends and sickening focus on triviliaties that characterized my excessively-hyped talk show.
To all my friends who graciously allowed me to interview them, I apologize for subjecting them to intrusive, invasive, privacy-violating questions about their personal lives and of course gifting them with coffee hampers. I know many of you deliberately avoided answering rapidly my rapid-fire questions mortified of the possibility of being caught on the camera accepting tacky, gayish coffee hampers. I apologize to all of you for inflicting on you such extreme cruelty. Please forgive me for my transgressions.
Have I missed anyone else who deserves an apology?
Ah yes..I would like to tender my apologies to all gays of the country for being ambivalent of my sexuality. Am I really a gay? Sorry, I can't reveal it yet, but I've no hesitation in apologizing to everyone who hates me for hiding the truth about my sexual orientation. Yes, I realize my sexuality is not just my business and everyone in this country is entitled to know whether I share my bed with a Khushi or a Khan or if I practice Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Khan. I apologize for my unwillingness to share this information.
Many of you might feel that I'm overdoing the apologizing stuff. To all of you I would like to apologize for my excessive apologizing. Please try and understand me. I don't care whether its right or wrong to offer apologies. I don't give a shit about standing up against tyranny of petty local despots. For me, its all about being loved by everyone. I would be like to be loved by all - the 'Bombayites' (I apologize again for using this abominable word), and also the Mumbaikars (Please don't boycott 'Wake Up Sid'). I would like to be loved by those who like my movies and also those who hate my movies. I want to be loved by those who got invited on my chat shows and those who are sulking for not being considered worthy enough to be interviewed by me.
Yes, I know that despite my wishes many of you will never love me. To all of you who can't help hating me, I apologize for my existence on earth. I'm sorry that I was born. Please forgive me.
Twitter Trackback
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2_gud - Supreme apology for apologizing  RT @jhunjhunwala Supremely Funny from @onionuttapam ,Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp sonnes - KJ is srsly pissed off! RT @sitaram: KJ's apology to Raj http://bit.ly/k9kk8 tittoantony - @mumbaicentral Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp tittoantony - @prempanicker Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp tittoantony - Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp LalitPatel - RT: @jhunjhunwala: Supremely Funny from @onionuttapam • Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp caffinecrazed - http://bit.ly/J38An ....HILARIOUS !!! nihang - RT @jhunjhunwala Supremely Funny from @onionuttapam ,Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp ricky703ca - RT - @jhunjhunwala - Hilarious post by @onionuttapam - Karan Johar: I apologize for apologizing - http://bit.ly/jtjXp Jhunjhunwala - Supremely Funny from @onionuttapam ,Karan Johar is sorry! http://bit.ly/jtjXp |
