They lurk on the corridors of the world wide web typing away furiously to defend their faith from marauding Islamic invaders. Alternating perpetually between fear and false bravado, they are forever in search for the great Indian hero who will rescue the nation from the assaults it keeps suffering repeatedly from its enemies. They are the great Indian Hindutva arm-chair warriors, a tribe of fearful, resentful, cowardly yet belligerent right-wing nationalist crackpots suffering from extreme xenophobia, eternally seeking similar bunch of arm-chair political leaders who will save them, save Hinduism and save India from being ass-whacked by the dangerous enemy out to devour our country, our religion and our glorious culture.
Since in a consumerist society demand for every junk product or loony ideology finds a corresponding supplier of the same, demand for Hindutva heroes too results in periodical emergence of young, bratty, rhetoric-peddlers who arrive on the political landscape selling dreams of nirvanic triumph over the evil enemy. They are often political novices, mostly progeny of well-known politicians looking to establish themselves quickly and easily in an overcrowded political arena. They are shrewd enough to recognize the desperate need of saviors in a insecure, perilous society and are willing to shamelessly make the most of the opportunity.
So what does it take to become the great Indian Hindutva hero? The formula for becoming a successful hero of millions of xenophobic lunatics is deceptively simple. It has been repeatedly used with minor variations yet never fails to find suckers who keep falling for the deception despite its obvious patency.
- Look what they (the enemy country/race/community/regional group/SICKular liberals) are doing to us - Generate visions of terror. Make your target constituency feel vulnerable and threatened. Make them panicky and fearful. Spew hateful and venomous observations about the nature of the enemy. Look how they are breeding like rabbits! If they continue at this rate, they will soon overrun/conquer us, make us minority in our own country. They are taking our jobs! Stealing our resources! They are destroying our culture! Our moral values! Beware of them!!! Be afraid of them!! You are under grave threat. Recognize the threat and rise against it!
- Look what I can do to them (the enemy country/race/community/regional group/SICKular liberals) - It doesn't matter whether you are an anal-retentive personality or a timid coward fearful of even bathroom cockroaches as long as you the ability to scream at the top of your voice what wondrous things you will do to your enemy. Learn to yell loudly - I will cut/break the hand that dares to rise against you/me/we.. I will cut the throat of our enemy! As long as I'm alive, I won't let a single thread of your hair to be touched! I will not allow destruction of our culture! I will save you/our culture/our faith/our nation from the grave threat posed by those who hate us/our culture/our faith/our nation.
- Look how privileged they are (the enemy country/race/community/regional group/SICKular liberals) - Always exaggerate every minor perk enjoyed by the targeted group and ignore every major advantage enjoyed by your targeted constituency. Look how they are being appeased while you are being denied similar privileges! Look how they are getting our seats in schools and colleges despite not being good enough to get them on their own merit! Look how they are grabbing all our jobs! You are being short-changed! You have become a second-class citizen in your own country!
This tried and tested formula works all the time and instantaneously offers you overnight stardom. From being just another son/daughter/nephew of a famous father/mother/uncle, trying his luck in politics, ignored by one and all, you will be catapulted into instant stardom. It doesn't really matter that you are an absolute nobody with no experience or achievement to your credit. It is of no importance that you have no solutions to offer and no plan to translate your words into action. If you can 'talk the talk' without dying of shame, instant Hindutva hero-dom is yours for the taking.
